Pain Through Cuts
by YugixYami4ever
Summary: Story fixed on Yugi Moto, who is a cutter. Story made from a other story that have been taken down along with the account of the author and a real life experience/true story (I don't know how to say it). WARNING: CONTAINS INSULTS/VIOLENCE/CUTTING/SUICIDE ATTEMPTS! DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T STAND THESE!
1. Cutting

Pain Through Cuts

 **Hello everyone. Today I want to make a story about Yugi as a cutter. I want to do this because of my inspiration: A story from there, fanFiction , with Yugi as a cutter. Sadly, the story is gone and author had deleted the account. I wish all the best to that author. Also, half of this story isn** **'t only inspiration, but a real life experience/true story.**

 **Please, if you can't stand all kind of insults and violence,** _ **don't**_ **read more. Please.**

 **WARNING: Contains suicide games and suicide attempts and cutting and bad language and violence/insults.**

Yugi Moto is a boy in the High School from Domino City in his 2 grade, in summer/end of summer (you got what I wanted to mean! XD) . He have tri-colored star-shaped hair , big amethyst eyes and a short height.

~15 minutes before courses starts~

Yugi did sit in his desk from right beside the wall. He did got his stuff ready for courses. Then he sit silent from listening his classmates talking, including Yami, who have his own body now.

''Ya heard 'bout how cutters are such losers?'' Joey said (sorry, I can not make his brooklyn accent) with a little grin on his face and amusement being able to be heard in his voice.

''Yes! They are such losers! If they are wanting to take their own life, why they don't do it already? Oh yes! Because they think others will have pity for them! Hahaha!'' Tristan said with such amusement and laughed. Joey laughed too.

''But you guys heard about that helly Blue Whale game? How can some idiots do these things that these 'curators' are telling them? They want just to make some drama out of it! '' Yami said just as the others. He laughed at this. The others did too.

Then Tea started to make fun of it. ''Oh, oh , guys, look, look!'' She said while laughing and waving her arms ''I'm a Whale~! I play Blue Whale and I'm a Whale and want to commit suicide! Woohoo~~! I am scared of the curators and I want to die! Weehee~~!'' as she laughed very loud. All the class was laughing.

Yugi, still in his desk, did hide his face with the left hand/arm and looked at the wall from beside him, thinking. /No again…Please stop… It's been a week since this happens…They are so cruel… Even Yami… If they knew…/ he kept thinking as he looked at his right arm. /If they knew what is hidden under this coat…But they would still do the same. No matter what. I can bet they would hate me and make fun of me for it…How much I will hide it?…/ his thought had been stopped by the ring. It was time that courses start. His teacher came into the class and said ''Good morning, class.'' and the class replied to her.

~In the time of the courses~

Yugi was in the middle of his first course and he couldn't focus on it. He was focused over what Yami and the gang, along with the whole class, said the whole week.

/They really think this is pathetic?… / he thought as he took from his coat the razor and hide it into his hand. While looking at his left hand , in which was the razor, he kept thinking. /They think this is for pity! They don't understand what this feels like!/ Yugi started to shout mentally. No matter how much he would shout mentally, Yami couldn't hear because the mind-link was dead. Just as his bond with Yugi. He left Yugi alone and started this stuff of laughing about others who wants to commit suicide or the ones who is cutting. While shouting mentally, Yugi kept his left hand closed so tight that he started to feel something warm from it. It was blood. He was still holding his razor blade that has cut his palm. He kept his palm closed and hidden in his pocket for no one to notice the blood.

~Later~

Courses did end. It was afternoon. Yugi walked home alone, while he was hearing the gang behind him , from far away, talking and laughing. He could not possibly tell anyone about his… 'little hobby' .

When he arrived home, he did go in his room and locked the door. He removed the coat and then his arms was shown. Full of cuts.

/They wonder why I do wear all the time that coat. I wear it to hide these. And the reason why I wear only cloths with long sleeves since one year ago./ he thought as he took his knife from his nightstand and then…He started cutting as tears was falling silently and fast from his eyes. He had a angry expression as he was crying and cutting /They don't understand! They don't see! They don't know how I feel inside! They know only to laugh and judge and insult! Yes, I want to die! But I don't tell anyone!/ while shouting mentally. He knew he couldn't tell anyone. That no one could help him. That…They would think it's a game. A funny game of attention seeker. /They don't know that…I want help…/ he kept thinking while cutting and crying silently. He knew that Yami will be late today. It was Friday. Yami and the gang would have been going to arcade, like every Friday. Without Yugi, of course. They barely knew he was still alive.

/I can't tell anyone… They won't understand…/ he thought as he felt more the need, the urge of cutting.. He felt his veins pulsing the blood faster and he didn't like that. He wanted this feeling to stop. So he kept cutting. He kept crying. No one was home. It was like always. /It will end soon…?/ he was asking himself.

 **The end of chapter one! Please R &R and tell me what you think! And if you want the next! See you next time! **


	2. The Sad truth from Yami

Pain Through Cuts

 **Chapter 2**

 **Please, if you can't stand all kind of insults and violence,** _ **don't**_ **read more. Please.**

 **WARNING: Contains suicide games and suicide attempts and cutting and bad language and violence/insults. I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!**

Yugi kept cutting and talking to himself. "No one sees." and a new cut appeared. "No one cares." Another cut appeared. "No one understands." Another cut. "No one will ever understand me!" he did shout and did a deeper cut then the others. The blood was all over his arms. "No one will understand why I do this! What I do feel! What makes me go through this!" he kept shouting and kept cutting with his angry expression and tears rolling down his cheeks. "Always betrayed! Always forgotten! Always lied! Always used! That's me!" with all these he was making new cuts, each deeper then the others.

~Later~

One hour has passed since Yugi was cutting. He felt empty enough to stop cutting. He unlocked the door and went to the bathroom to clean his hands of the blood from them.

He was looking at himself in the mirror. "No one would even want to listen." He said as he looked at the reflexion of himself.

 _/You're so pathetic./_ a voice told him. "Yeah, yeah, you don't need to say it all the time, I know how pathetic I am and how pathetical I look. Damn thoughts of mine…" he replied as he was cleaning his hands/arms. After he finished, he went Back to his room and took from the closet a dark crimson jacket. He did wear it, making sure it does hide all his cuts.

/I need to go to grandpa. He's in hospital. I don't have faith that mom did go to him. She's too 'busy' to stay home or to go to him./ he thought to himself as he was getting ready do leave. When he wanted to get out of his room, he stopped as if something froze him. 'Hell. I need to clean the blood!' he said as he removed his jacket and started to clean his room amd the coridor to the bathroom.

~10 minutes later~

/Done./ he said and changed his cloths and took the jacket. He went out of the house and was walking to the hospital.

Then he did notice the gang. He rolled his eyes and tried to put on a fake smile. /Great. Just great. I will have to deal with them too./ he thought angryly as he kept walking.

"Hey , Yug'!" Joey called him. /This is my best day of getting more pain./ Yugi thought and said with a smile "Hey Jou! What are you guys doing here? " and Joey informed him as the others moved forward "We are just going to the club with Yam'. " and at this Yugi wanted to just shout at them. But he just said "Ok. See you later." And Joey did go forward. Yugi glared at them as they was walking happily. /So, to club, huh? You even did went to grandpa to visit him?! No! Of course no! Why to do that?! To miss the club time for a old man?! No! You would rather miss to visit grandpa for clubbing! What jerks!/ he was again shouting mentally. He turned his head as he kept walking to his destination. On the way, he met bullies.

/Are. You. Serious?! I don't want to deal with them now. / Yugi also was hissing a little.

"Hey, seems like we met with the fool Yogoni (it's a nickname for annoying him. A nickname that he doesn't like.) again. " the girl with short brown hair smirked as she said this. The boy beside her, which was taller then both Yugi and the girl , nodded while smirking and said " Of course! Yogoni always wants to get in troubles. " and another girl, which was of the same height as Yugi, but with long hair, said " Hey, Yogoni! Sad without your gang? When was the last time you did f**k yourself?" as she laughed evily.

Yugi wanted to walk forward, without looking at them or talking with them, but they did block Yugi's way. Yugi watched them and said JUST once , calmly "Please get out of my way, I need to go somewhere." And they laughed evily and said "Oh you want to go and f**k yourself? How sweet! First pay for going forward!" and he knew they was talking about to give them money. He didn't. And that pissed them off and they hit Yugi once to his head,not too hard, but hard enough to hurt Yugi.

/You are really some idiots that must be put to their places! You think I'm _so weak_. I'm not as you think I am./ he thought as on his face appeared a angy expression and he started to hit back. And he dragged the girls by their hair and hit the boy's arm with the right leg. He would have done worse if some people wasn't tearing them appart of each other.

The bullies was hold by people and Yugi was standing up by himself as he opened his palms and hair fell on the floor. It was the hair from the other girls. After he turned with the back to them and wanted to walk forward,but he was stopped by the girl with the same height as he, which was yelling to him "You will pay for that! You f**king bitch!" and Yugi kept his mouth shut tight. He closed his eyes and palms very tight. After he opened his eyes and walked forward.

/What idiots. / he said as he walked more. Then he was in front of the hospital. He went inside and asked the nurse "Can I go see my grandpa? " at which she said "The name , please? " and Yugi nodded "Solomon Moto. I'm Yugi Moto, his grandson." And she nodded and said "He's in the room 124. It's almost time for taking his painkillers, so you should hurry. After you won't be allowed to stay more." And Yugi just nodded as he went to the room 124.

He went inside amd closed the door. "Grandpa!" he said as a smile formed on his face.

"Yugi. I'm happy to see you there." Solomon replied as he opened his arms , knowing his grandson will come and hug him. Yugi did give his grandfather a big hug and after he did sit beside the bed and talked to his grandpa.

"I'm sorry , Grandpa,for being so late. I had to do homework and you know how much they give us at school to do home." Yugi said and hugged him again. "It's ok, Yugi. I'm happy to see you didn't forget me. " he replied with a smile on his face.

Yugi pulled back fast and asked fast "Wait, what do you mean?!" with a worried expression. "Oh…so,they didn't tell you…" his grandfather said with a little sad expression amd voice. "Tell me what?! They who?! Grandpa, what happened when I was gone? Did the doctors or nurses act bad with you?! " Yugi was more worried as he was looking at his grandfather. He smiled sad and said "No,not that. They did make me feel better, actually." And Yugi noticed the sad smile and asked "Can you tell me what happened then?..." and his grandfather nodded "Well…before you got here, Yami and the others was here too. But they came only to ask if I have some money to give them. Actually, Yami asked that. And I had some and gave them to him. After they left happily without even asking if I am feeling well…" he informed Yugi and looked at him and begging "But please don't get angry at them. They are just young. " and Yugi nodded. Then the doctor came inside. "Yugi,I'm very sorry, but now you must go. " the doctor informed him. Yugi said "Please just take care of my grandpa." And the doctor said with a smile on his face " Of course I will. That is my job. Don't worry, he is in good care here. " and Yugi nodded as he left.

He went out of the hospital and walked home. /So you went to grandpa for money, Yami? Money for clubbing? How low you did become? How idiotic you think I am to let you to continue this?! / he was yelling mentally as his face appeared the angry expression.

/I will shut up only today, for Grandpa's shake, but tomorrow, Yami and me will talk about it into the most serious matter. This isn't right! What he did was using my grandpa! MY grandpa!/ he was more angrier then before.

~Later~

Yugi finally arrived home. He didn't notice, but Yami was already home. A voice did break Yugi from his thoughts.

"You arrived, Aibou~? " it was Yami, but… was Yami… drunk?! /What the hell?! Is he drunk?!/ Yugi screamed mentally and went in the kitchen, where was Yami. Yami was hiccuping and with his arms on the table.

"Yes, I arrived. What's wrong?" Yugi asked, knowing that in his state, Yami will say without being asked if he drank. "I *hiccup* drank *hiccup* at *hiccup* club *hiccup*. " and Yugi was angry, but hold his anger.

"Your *hiccup* mom *hiccup* was *hiccup* drunk *hiccup* when *hiccup* I *hiccup* got *hiccup* home. *hiccup* she's *hiccup* in *hicccup* her *hiccup* room *hiccup*. " Yami continued.

Then Yugi got a idea of asking something "Why did you become like this, Yami? Judging, laughing about people who are self-harmers, drinking, ignoring me?" and Yami laughed as he said "Because you and these self-harmer are so pathetic! I'm the King and I can do whatever I want! " he said through his hiccups and then Yugi got really angry and got Yami up from the chair amd slapped him hard. "So I am pathetic,huh?!" he asked angrily as he slapped Yami again , but thistime more hard and that did wake up Yami from his drunk state. He had eyes wide open and placed his left hand on his left cheek, where was a very red mark leftby Yugi's hand. "A-Aibou, I-I d-didn't m-mean- " Yami started, but was stopped by Yugi. "You didn't mean?! No?! Go the hell! You can burn in hell along with the others! But don't come at me or my grandpa anymore!" Yugi shouted angrily at Yami. Then he went to his room as fast as he could and locked the door. He felt the blood pressure too big, how it was going through his veins too fast. He was hating so much this feeling. /I need to cut, I need to escape of this feelings. I need relief! / he told to himself as he did change his cloths and started to cut again.

~With Yami~

/What have I done?.../ he thought to himself as he did get out of the kitchen, in the living room and stood on the sofa. He fell asleep on the sofa that night.

 **That's all for now! See you next tims! ;) tell me if you liked this chapter**


	3. Giving in

Pain Through Cuts

 **Chapter 3**

 **Heeeeeyyyyyyyyy I** **'m back with chapter 3! Please, if you can't stand all kind of insults and violence,** _ **don't**_ **read more. Please.**

 **WARNING:Contains suicide games and suicide attempts and cutting and bad language and violence.**

 **I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!**

/He called me 'pathetic'! / Yugi kept shouting mentally as he was cutting.

All night he did cut and in the morning, he was very weak. His mother didn't came to see how he is, she always doesn't check on him. The only one left was Yami, but because Yami was drunk last night, he could have forgot what happened last night. Of course Yugi did clean after he finished and went to bed to sleep, but he slept just 2 hours. After he stood awake, trying to go back to sleep.

~With Yami~

Yami woke up with a big headache. /Ugh…what's…this headache?… Ugh… Hurts…/ he thought as he stand up from the sofa. He placed his hand on his head. After some moments he opened his eyes wide , remembering what happened last night.

/Oh shit! What have I done?! I-I didn't mean that, Yugi is thinking I meant it! Oh shit! Crap! I must go see him and tell him I'm sorry!/ he thought as he first went to bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeths (Sorry for the misspelling?) .

After he went into his room and dressed. He was wearing his usual outfit. He looked at the clock, it was 8 o'clock. /He should be sleeping? Or maybe he's awake. I-I don't know, I need to tell him I'm sorry./ he thought as he walked to Yugi's room, which was beside his. He stared at the door 5 minutes, then he decided to knock.

~With Yugi~

*knock, knock*

Yugi hear some noise and he woke up, dizzily. /Hm…I want to sleep more…/ he said mentally as he wanted to went back to sleep.

*knock, knock*

He heard again. Then he said ''Who is?…'' with a tired voice.

''Yami. May I come in, Aibou?'' Yami asked.

Yugi thought for a moment /What if he meant what he said last night…? But…/ as he looked at the door with a sad look /I should give him a chance to explain…/ and then started to rub his eyes and said ''Yes…''and Yami opened the door and closed it gently after he did enter in the room.

''Aibou, I-I'm sorry for last night, I didn't mean to say that things…'' Yami apologized with a shameful voice and almost looking down. Yugi stopped to rub his eyes and looked at Yami ''Well, is there any explication for what you said then?'' asking and having a serious expression on his face.

Yami looked down and shaked his head slowly. He stood there silent. /So you meant it. / Yugi thought with hate. ''Ok then. Answer my question from last night then.'' Yugi spoke, making Yami looking at him.

''B-But I didn't ignore you! I didn't do such a thing! And I didn't laugh to anyone about anyone! And I didn't judge!'' Yami said, starting to shout a little and be angrier.

''No~~ You didn't~! You're always the good boy and I am the bad boy! You always do right and I always do wrong! What about when you with the gang and I am home and I message you to ask how are you and you do block me then?! What about when you block me for crying at the phone?! What about when you push me away when I try to kiss you?! What about when I tried to show you how much I love you and you said that you don't want to do because you said it's disgusting?! What about all these, Yami! Tell me!'' Yugi said with anger as he stand up from his bed. He was wearing a PJ of dark blue with stars, but not much stars.

''What are you saying is nonsense!'' Yami said, shouting at Yugi. ''Oh so when I talk about your mistakes and I show you the mistakes you did and do, you say it's nonsense!'' Yugi shouted back. ''Because you just don't want to understand! Why the f*** can't you move on over the fact that I DON'T want to do anything with you?! It's so hard to understand?!'' Yami shouted louder. ''Yes, it is! Because YOU PROMISED, DAMN IT!'' Yugi then shouted louder then Yami and got a more angrier expression.

''Well, I DIDN'T! I just wanted to see you happy , but it hurts me!'' Yami kept shouting. ''OH! LIKE IT DIDN'T HURT ME WHEN I HAD TO DO ALL OF WHATEVER YOU WANTED! BUT I, UNLIKE YOU , AM NOT SELFISH!'' Yugi screamed. It was hurting him. He was feeling his heart broken in million of pieces and it was feeling burningly frozen. Yes, he was feeling it very cold, but burning too. He was hating this feeling, even if he had it for so long.

''So you're calling me selfish?! ME!?'' Yami shouted. ''YES, YOU! YOU ARE SO SELFISH! YOU THINK OF YOURSELF FIRST AND AFTER OF THE OTHERS!'' Yugi kept yelling. ''So what the hell you want to say?! That I am selfish and you are selfless?!'' Yami said with such hate in his voice and this hurt Yugi more. ''YES, THAT IT'S WHAT I MEANT! YOU CAN GO OUT OF MY ROOM! YOU ALWAYS THINK YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST AS A KING AND ONLY BECAUSE YOU WAS A KING ONCE IN THE PAST! WELL, NO! YOU CAN'T GET ALL YOU WANT LIKE THIS! AND YOU DID ALL WHAT I TOLD BEFORE ! NOW GO OUT OF MY ROOM!'' Yugi yelled with all his power. Yami, hearing this, did leave the room without a word.

/H-He really doesn't understand how I feel…/ Yugi said as he started crying and softly going back to bed and cutting with his razor blade. Softly. Slowly. To hurt. To take the pain away.

~Later~

Yugi couldn't get out of his bed that day. He was weak and hungry. But none Yami or his mother cared to go and see how he was. He then wanted to message Yami. He was took by surprise. Again.

/You blocked me again… Again…?/ he asked himself as he felt that burningly frozen broken heart feeling again. He didn't like it.

He heard his mother nicknaming the cats with the most cute and adorable nickname. This hurt him more. /She loves the cats more then me… What kind of mother she is?…/ He thought to himself as he fell asleep because of feeling of dizziness.

~Middle of night~

'' _You can not hide, Yugi.'' someone said._

 _Yugi was trying to run, but as much as he was running, he was getting into an endless darkness._

'' _You can not lie, Yugi.'' someone said again._

 _Yugi kept running, not looking back. He tried to run as fast as he could._

'' _You can not deny it, Yugi.'' someone said again._

 _Yugi still was running. He wanted to escape. He tried to escape._

'' _You will give in, Yugi.'' someone said again._

 _Yugi stopped from running. He was breathing heavily. He couldn't run anymore. His body was bleeding from the cuts he made before._

 _Then.._

''AH!'' Yugi screamed as he woke up. He breathed heavily for some minutes. /This again…/ he thought. Then he thought to check if Yami unblocked him. No, he didn't. Then he felt anger. Very much anger. Despite the fact his head was hurting, he felt so much anger. But he decided to call the only person who will listen.

/Come on…Come on…Mommy, please…/ he called on the phone Mommy, or Mai. Mai Valentine. He ans she got into a more closely relationship, more as mom and son. He waited her to answer the phone. It never happened. He tried again. No answer. Tried again. No answer. Then he got angry and did throw the phone on the floor.

He knew something was coming. No, he knew WHAT was going to happen. He needed to calm down, but he couldn't.

/Of course that no one wants to keep their promises! It hurts to keep them! But it doesn't hurt me when I do whatever they say! It doesn't! They think it doesn't! Well, hell , it does!/ he went angrier and angrier with each second he was thinking at whatever promises everyone made to him. His family, his friends. Everyone. And no one kept them. Which made Yugi more violent/angrier every time they was breaking the promises they made to him. It was breaking his heart. And made it feel like it's in a thousand of pieces and that it's burningly frozen. So frozen. So cold. And still burning so harshly. So fast. So painfully.

/Everyone likes to be selfish and to break promises! EVERYONE IS THE SAME!/ he shouted mentally as he removed his blouse of PJ off, showing the cuts made. He looked after the knife and started to make cuts on his body.

Then he removed his pants too. He was just in his underwear.

 **WARNING: This contains sexual parts (or more for masturbation, but into a more 'disgusting'/terrifying way)**

Then he moved the knife on his legs and did make more cuts there too. He made cuts all over the body and then he felt warm somewhere down. He looked and saw that he was hard from how the knife moves on his body. He was actually moaning when he was cutting himself.

Then he removed his underwear too. He was completely naked. Then he stood on his knees, placed a hand against the wall (still staying in bed) and in the other hand he was holding the knife. He moved the hand with the knife in his back and cutting slowly his back as he was going in down. Until his balls. Then he started to moan more as he slowly placed the knife, but with the part that wasn't cutting, on his balls. He moaned at the feeling of the metal touching that part of his body.

/It feels good. Let's see how it feels if I cut./ he thought numbless, like he wasn't actually himself.

Then he moved the knife to the other side and touched his balls softly and cutted only a bit as he moaned of both pain and pleasure.''O-Ooh~~ A-Aah~'' he moaned as he thought /It's so good~ It takes away all the pain~/ but before he could continue, he felt so weak that he throw the knife on the floor and fell in the bed unconscious as blood was covering his body and the place looking like a murder scene.

 **End of Chapter 3! Please Review and let me know what you think about this! And yeah, I know, it's very violent… The purpose of this story is for people who feel the same as Yugi to find relief that they AREN'T the ONLY ones who feel this way. The story which was my inspiration was less violent , but it gave me a relief. That's why now, I make this story. See you in the next chapter and tell me what you think it will happen!**


	4. Shatter me

Pain Through Cuts

Chapter 4

 **And there is chapter 4. There will be just a couple of chapters until this story is finished. Hope you enjoy it?**

 **WARNING:** **Contains suicide games and suicide attempts and cutting and bad language and violence.**

 **I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!**

~Morning~

Yami woke up with a really unpleasant feeling in his stomach. He looked over the clock and saw that it's just 6 o'clock.

/Yesterday I shouldn't have been angry at Yugi… he was right… I should go and apologize and to tell him he was right…/ Yami thought with sincerity. He stood up, walked out of his room and going in front of the door of Yugi's room. He knocked once. No answer. He knocked twice. No answer again. He knocked the thirth time, but still no answer.

''Yugi, you're awake?..'' Yami asked and waited for an answer. No answer. /Maybe he's just still sleeping…Or still upset at me… I will try through the mind-link./ Yami thought carefully and then he opened the mind-link.

|Aibou? Yugi? You're awake?…| Yami asked. But what he found strange was that he was feeling numbness, darkness, something that was…not existing.

/Wait, not existing?!/ Yami screamed mentally as his eyes opened widely in realization of what had happened. Then he opened the door as fast as he could and when he wanted to step in the room, he froze. Paralyzed. He stood like this like 10 minutes, he couldn't move or speak at what he saw. Then he did remember.

Flasblack1:

 _"Why did you become like this, Yami? Judging, laughing about people who are self-harmers, drinking, ignoring me?" and Yami laughed as he said "Because you and these self-harmer are so pathetic! I'm the King and I can do whatever I want! " he said through his hiccups and then Yugi got really angry and got Yami up from the chair amd slapped him hard. "So I am pathetic,huh?!" he asked angrily as he slapped Yami again , but thistime more hard and that did wake up Yami from his drunk state. He had eyes wide open and placed his left hand on his left cheek, where was a very red mark leftby Yugi's hand. "A-Aibou, I-I d-didn't m-mean- " Yami started, but was stopped by Yugi. "You didn't mean?! No?! Go the hell! You can burn in hell along with the others! But don't come at me or my grandpa anymore!" Yugi shouted angrily at Yami. Then he went to his room as fast as he could_ _._

End of Flashback 1. Flashback 2:

 _''B-But I didn't ignore you! I didn't do such a thing! And I didn't laugh to anyone about anyone! And I didn't judge!'' Yami said, starting to shout a little and be angrier._

 _''No~~ You didn't~! You're always the good boy and I am the bad boy! You always do right and I always do wrong! What about when you with the gang and I am home and I message you to ask how are you and you do block me then?! What about when you block me for crying at the phone?! What about when you push me away when I try to kiss you?! What about when I tried to show you how much I love you and you said that you don't want to do because you said it's disgusting?! What about all these, Yami! Tell me!'' Yugi said with anger as he stand up from his bed. He was wearing a PJ of dark blue with stars, but not much stars._

 _''What are you saying is nonsense!'' Yami said, shouting at Yugi. ''Oh so when I talk about your mistakes and I show you the mistakes you did and do, you say it's nonsense!'' Yugi shouted back. ''Because you just don't want to understand! Why the f*** can't you move on over the fact that I DON'T want to do anything with you?! It's so hard to understand?!'' Yami shouted louder. ''Yes, it is! Because YOU PROMISED, DAMN IT!'' Yugi then shouted louder then Yami and got a more angrier expression._

 _''Well, I DIDN'T! I just wanted to see you happy , but it hurts me!'' Yami kept shouting. ''OH! LIKE IT DIDN'T HURT ME WHEN I HAD TO DO ALL OF WHATEVER YOU WANTED! BUT I, UNLIKE YOU , AM NOT SELFISH!'' Yugi screamed. It was hurting him._

 _''So you're calling me selfish?! ME!?'' Yami shouted. ''YES, YOU! YOU ARE SO SELFISH! YOU THINK OF YOURSELF FIRST AND AFTER OF THE OTHERS!'' Yugi kept yelling. ''So what the hell you want to say?! That I am selfish and you are selfless?!'' Yami said with such hate in his voice_ _._ _''YES, THAT IT'S WHAT I MEANT! YOU CAN GO OUT OF MY ROOM! YOU ALWAYS THINK YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST AS A KING AND ONLY BECAUSE YOU WAS A KING ONCE IN THE PAST! WELL, NO! YOU CAN'T GET ALL YOU WANT LIKE THIS! AND YOU DID ALL WHAT I TOLD BEFORE ! NOW GO OUT OF MY ROOM!'' Yugi yelled with all his power. Yami, hearing this, did leave the room without a word._

End of Flashback 2. Flashback 3:

 _''Ya heard 'bout how cutters are such losers?'' Joey said with a little grin on his face and amusement being able to be heard in his voice._

 _''Yes! They are such losers! If they are wanting to take their own life, why they don't do it already? Oh yes! Because they think others will have pity for them! Hahaha!'' Tristan said with such amusement and laughed. Joey laughed too._

 _''But you guys heard about that helly Blue Whale game? How can some idiots do these things that these 'curators' are telling them? They want just to make some drama out of it! '' Yami said just as the others. He laughed at this. The others did too._

 _Then Tea started to make fun of it. ''Oh, oh , guys, look, look!'' She said while laughing and waving her arms ''I'm a Whale~! I play Blue Whale and I'm a Whale and want to commit suicide! Woohoo~~! I am scared of the curators and I want to die! Weehee~~!'' as she laughed very loud. All the class was laughing._

End of Flashback 3.

/H-How I could…H-How… M-My Aibou… N-Now..I-I understand…N-No, I-it's n-not too late!/ Yami thought as he did snap out of his paralyzed feeling and did run toward Yugi and hold him into his arms. ''A-Aibou! W-Wake up!'' Yami yelled at him as he hold Yugi closer to him and checked his pulse. He was alive. Then why he wasn't opening his eyes. Yami was getting crazy! ''I-I will call at 911!'' he said as he took out the phone from his pocket and wanted to unblock it/open it. But the phone looked like it was closed. ''A moment ago it was working! What the hell is wrong! It was charged! Why it doesn't work!'' he yelled as he tried to open the phone, but no use. The phone was still the same. Then he wanted to move with Yugi out of the bed and he couldn't move at all. '' W-What the hell! What's happening!'' he screamed. Then he noticed also that no one did notice his screams. Then, finally, he looked at the door. The door was shut!

''What the hell is happening here!'' he screamed again. Seeing that he have no way to call anyone… /The soul room! That may be why I can't go anywhere!/ he said as he closed his eyes and then he opened them. He was in his soul room.

''I will go to Yugi's.'' he said as he got out of his room. When he looked at Yugi' door, he did paralyzed again.

On Yugi's door was cuts, blood, scars and the door was having a total black color.

Yami didn't stay paralyzed too long and he did enter in the room.

When he entered, he saw Yugi. ''Aibou!'' he shouted in relief that he found Yugi and Yugi looked at him and yelled ''Don't come closer! It's dangerous!'' and Yami stood where he was. He saw the nice walls from before , now a black crimson red. They was shattered and was falling, showing pure darkness. All the room was like this. The ground wasn't all falling, but part of it was.

Around Yugi was pure darkness, shadows, that was cutting him.

''Aibou! L-Let me help!'' Yami yelled as he was starting to cry.

Yugi was already crying already.

 _ **I pirouette in the dark  
I see the stars through me  
Tired mechanical heart  
Beats til the song disappears**_

''No, d-don't c-come close-AH!'' he said as he felt the shadows cutting him more. The shadows was all around him and cutting him everywhere. He fell in his knees as he was crying harder. But he wasn't crying with tears. He was crying with blood. Something that you see just in a horror movie.

 _ **Somebody shine a light  
I'm frozen by the fear in me  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me  
So cut me from the line  
Dizzy, spinning endlessly  
Somebody make me feel alive  
**_ _ **And shatter me!**_

Yami did come closer, but not too closer. He saw how the shadows was tearing Yugi apart. He tried to control them, but he couldn't. Yugi was crying harder as the shadows was cutting him more and more.

 _ **Shatter me!  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!**_

Yugi placed his hands on the floor as he kept crying. Yami was crying too, seeing that he wasn't able to do anything for his little light. The room was falling and shattering faster then before.

 _ **If only the clockworks could speak  
I wouldn't be so alone  
We burn every magnet and spring  
And spiral into the unknown**_

Yami took just one step closer. The shadows was about to hurt him , but Yugi screamed to make them hurt him more instead of Yami. Yami was still crying as he watched how Yugi is hurt more and more.

 _ **Somebody shine a light  
I'm frozen by the fear in me  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me  
So cut me from the line  
Dizzy, spinning endlessly  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!**_

''Aibou…You really hate me?…'' Yami said as tears kept falling and watched Yugi, who was teared more by the shadows.

 _ **Shatter me!  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!**_

''I hate myself a-and I-I get angry a-at the others ONLY, b-but ONLY to make y-you all go away! T-To punish myself! I-I never blame ANYONE, b-but ME! I-I only scream a-and yell around t-that I-is e-everyone w-who hurts m-me ONLY t-to make t-them feel hurt e-enough t-to leave m-me alone a-and t-to c-can p-punish m-myself! M-Mommy I-is r-right t-that I-is n-not t-they w-who c-can m-make m-me h-happy, b-but me! B-But I-I c-can't b-be happy! B-Because I-it's a-all m-my f-fault! I-I w-want t-to pu-punish m-myself t-that b-bad!'' Yugi said as he was crying and closing his eyes because of the pain from the cuts these shadows was making.

Yami was shocked at what Yugi said.

 _ **If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly  
There's no one to catch me if I take a dive  
I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same  
The world is spinning but only in gray  
If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly  
There's no one to catch me if I take a dive  
I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same  
The world is spinning but only in gray  
(Only)**_

''No, p-please don't say that, Aibou! It's al my fault! Please, I-I'm so sorry for everything I did wrong to you!'' Yami shouted as he run to Yugi and hugged him. Yugi hugged back. The shadows was still all around. Still , Yami kept hugging Yugi. Yugi kept crying and murmuring that it's all his fault. Yami kept murmuring that it isn't Yugi's, but his. In the end, they both say that they both do wrong to everyone. They hugged tight as they admitted it to each other.

 _ **Somebody shine a light  
I'm frozen by the fear in me  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me  
So cut me from the line  
Dizzy, spinning endlessly  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!  
Shatter me!  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me**_!

Then a light appeared and wiped all the darkness.

~In Yugi's room~

Yugi and Yami both woke up in Yugi's bed. Yami was still hugging Yugi, who was still bleeding.

 **This is the end of chapter 4! Tell me if you liked it! Please read and review! See you next time!**


	5. Love And Understanding

Pain Through Cuts

Chapter 5

 **There we are with a totally new chapter! Sorry for the wait and..happy reading!**

 **WARNING: Contains suicide games and suicide attempts and cutting and bad language and violence.**

 **I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!**

~Back in the room~

Yami looked at Yugi, who had his eyes half closed and breathing very slow. Yami kept him close of himself and took the phone. He called an ambulance to come take Yugi.

/I'm sorry, Aibou… Maybe I was too stubborn and selfish…/ Yami thought to himself.

~Later~

Yami was walking on the hallway of the hospital, and also looking to Yugi's room, in which he wasn't allowed yet to enter. /How much will it take? Is Aibou ok? How foolish I am, I'm so foolish, I always made him sad../ Yami paused from his thoughts and placed his hands on the covered window /I'm sorry if I always just hurt you and make you sad, Aibou…/ he continued as he placed his head on the window and crying for a moment.

After 20 minutes, a doctor comes out of the room and Yami wipes his tears away as he stands in front of the doctor. The doctor looked at him and asked ''You're Yami Sennen, right?'' at which Yami nods fast and asks worried ''Is Yugi ok?'' , but the doctor didn't answer. Yami looked very worried at the doc, until the doc decided to talk '' He lost a lot of blood… But he is ok…for now.'' and Yami sighed in relieve.

''Can I ask you a question, please?'' Yami asked and the doc nodded. ''Can I take him home? I want to take care of him and I'm sure he doesn't want the others to know about this…'' Yami asked as he looked at the window. ''His state isn't really stable, but…if it is what you and he wants, we cannot force you.'' the doc responded. ''Thank you.. And.. can I go in?'' Yami asked and the doc nodded.

Yami opened the door of the room slowly, to don't make noise , and closed it just as slow as he opened it. Just than he noticed that there wasn't the nurses or anyone else, but Yugi. /Maybe in all my sadness, I didn't notice when they went out…/ he thought to himself as he went beside Yugi's bed and sat on the chair. He looked at Yugi, who was very pale, his hands covered in bandages and having a pacefull expression, like of an angel.

Yami took one of Yugi's hands and gently hold it and caressing Yugi's forehead with the other hand. He was very worried about Yugi.

After some moments, Yugi opens his eyes slowly, feeling Yami's hand on his forehead. Yami noticed and said ''Aibou…?'' not really knowing how Yugi will react. Yugi opened fully his eyes and looked at Yami ''Y-Yami….h-how we…-'' he said, but was stopped by Yami who said ''Me, I called the ambulance…'' and after he looked down, a bit disappointed, knowing Yugi didn't want that. Yugi noticed also that Yami was holding his hand, so he hold too Yami's hand and said ''Is ok, Yami…..'' , then Yami looked at him and said ''Well, we can go home if you want…'' at which, Yugi responded surprised ''R-really?''. Yami nodded with a small sad smile on his face ''But for now rest some more, ok?'' he said to Yugi and Yugi nodded and went back to sleep.

Yami just kept looking at Yugi, thinking /That darkness…He…He still have to escape from it…/.

~Later, after Yugi and Yami left the hospital~

Yami hold Yugi in his arms, as they was sitting in the bed. Yugi was really tired, but for some reason , he asked Yami to hold him in his arms.

Yami kept thinking about the darkness from Yugi's soul room, he didn't know what to do to help Yugi. But his thoughts was stopped by the shaking Yugi from his arms. Yami looked worried at Yugi, who was shaking while he was still sleeping. Yami wrapped his arms more around the shaking hikari, but it seemed that Yugi was shaking more harshly than before and Yami had no choice, but to wake Yugi up. He shaked Yugi a little, calling his name ''Yugi, Aibou, wake up..'' and suddenly Yugi woke up with his eyes wide and after looked at Yami. ''Aibou? What's wrong?'' Yami said really worried and Yugi just responded with crying. He started to cry and hugged Yami really tight, saying ''C-can't control i-it…'' through his sobs and Yami just hugged Yugi back tight, rubbing his back gently. ''Oh Aibou…'' it was Yami's only response, he couldn't really think of how to help his hikari.

 _ **She wrote to me telling me it's help she needs**_ _ **  
She said that she cries every night and she's weak**_

''I-it hurts… I-I can't e-escape…'' Yugi said through his sobs, crying more harder. He knew that Yami took all the razors and knifes away from their house for he to don't cut again, but also the temptation and the darkness inside him was much stronger than his small will of escaping.

Yami kept Yugi close of himself, trying to calm his down. He knew that once Yugi 'tasted' the feeling of cutting, it was so hard to escape from cutting. And too , there is that darkness too that haunts Yugi and along all, is the fact that he and his friends hurt Yugi so much.

 _ **I told her you just gotta try to breath**_ _ **  
She said I can't cope anymore**_ _ **…**_

''I know, Aibou… I know… You will escape, I promise…'' Yami responded to Yugi, who was sobbing so much. He didn't know if Yugi has forgiven him or no yet, but he couldn't just sit back and do nothing, not after all what he did to his little hikari.

After a while, he noticed that Yugi's bandages was red, he knew it was like that because of the cuts that was bleeding because of the pressure. ''I gotta change your bandages, Aibou…'' Yami said and Yugi looked at him and nodded in agreement. They pulled apart and Yami went to take what was needed for Yugi's arms and , maybe, the whole body. Yugi just sat in bed, looking at his hands. /Why he didn't let me die?… He knows I will never escape… And maybe he will leave too later… I'm just so useless…/ he thought and cried hard, but silently. He felt the darkness taking over his mind and thoughts and pushing him to cut, that no one cares about him, that Yami will leave because he's the cool and smart one, while Yugi is the weak and pathetic one.

Yugi cried even more harder and hold his hands on his head, trying to don't listen to that darkness, to that things. /N-No…I-Is not t-true…. D-Don't…P-Please s-stop…./ he was 'saying' to that things inside his head, but then Yami came back. He sat beside Yugi and hugged him again.

''Aibou…don't let them out…'' Yami begged, knowing that Yugi will understand that he talks about the darkness inside. Yugi hugged back and kept crying.

 _And now I just bleed_ _…_

''Y-Yami…'' Yugi said while he hugged more tight and still crying ''F-Forgive me…'' .

 **End of chapter 5! I don't own the song! R &R maybe?**


	6. Shadows And Pain

Pain Through Cuts

Chapter 6

 **There we are with a another new chapter! Sorry for the wait and..happy reading!**

 **WARNING: Contains suicide games and suicide attempts and cutting and bad language and violence.**

 **I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!**

=A couple weeks later=

It's been a couple of months, and things got a lot better from last time. Yugi didn't cut at all in this time. Which was very good. For Yami. Because it made him be relaxed and happy. But for Yugi it was a hell deep down his concious. He was mentally almost going crazy. Every time something bad happened, he didn't want to cry,no, he wanted to cut. He felt the need. He knew no one really would like a 'cry-baby'. He kept dealing his thoughts,feelings and needs inside his little heart that felt like it will explode in any moment.

And emotionally was even worse. He wanted talk with Yami about these feelings, but he just thought it's wrong and that he would be a bother to Yami with his depressing sh*t. Yugi started feel so cold and lonely, even if Yami was right there, beside him. Talking of which, there was he. Yugi watched Yami from his room, as Yami was getting ready to go hang out with the others. Yugi was too much 'broken' for having a normal life like Yami. That's what Yami thought. But Yugi tried his best not to do any troubles or any 'stupid' things, as Yami called many times before Yugi's cutting need. So Yugi would conseal himself everyday to to be a 'good boy' to Yami. Even if he was crying to Yami many times, sometimes..it just felt like Yami didn't really want know how his little hikari feels.

 _ **What a shame~**_ someone said like if was behind Yugi's back and Yugi turned around. He didn't see anyone, so there would've been only one thing that was roaming here.

"S-shadows...?" he replied, in a sad tone, not really scared. Yes, he was scared in general of the shadows/shadow magic, but this time was different. He felt like talking to someone who would listen all his sh*t. _**Yes.. But you, little one, aren't you so broken? Hmm? Dont wanna talk about it?~**_ they replied as they was making their way to Yugi's legs. Yugi felt like he could cry of joy and sadness in the same time. He wanted talk, yes. But what he desired the most was that Yami knows how he feels, too. "Y-yes..." was all what he could say and the shadows whispered through the whole room _**We know what you really want and desire, little one~ isn't it Yami that you want?~ To listen to you and to understand you? But maybe you still don't want to believe what we tell you always~ He doesn't want you in his way~ He is bothered by all your depressing moods~ You're what's staying in his way of being the popular guy. Oh yeah~ you know if you would do nothing, he'll be the popular guy~ it's not like he's NOT already popular,with all the fangirls at school~ and even outside of the school~ if you would let him full freedom, he would make the whole world realise who's the best. Who's the King Of Games. They'll aknolege that he fought every duel,not you. You'll be thrown away like a broken toy that can't be used any longer and will be forgotten by all of them, including him~**_ and Yugi started cry really hard and sat on his knees. They really knew how he felt. And he started to believe them. Because they knew how he felt inside. He feared that thing to happen, he HAD TO hold on of Yami really tight and to limit his own good times for be with Yugi. It was wrong. All it was wrong for Yugi, but why didn't Yami show that he care about him? Why only...pretending? Yugi didn't know how to feel, what to say, what to think about that, but he knew. He would be more a bother to Yami. "Y-yes... Y-you're... R-right... P-please... H-help... H-help m-me... H-help..." Yugi said while crying even more and he couldn't do anything to stop Yami and to make him listen. Because he was too much weak. He was the weak boy, 'screwed up', 'drama queen' or, in this case, 'drama king' and a used toy that was about to breal and no one would put it back together. _ **You want help?~ about what? Hmm~? What you want know and do?~**_ the shadows said, as if teasing Yugi's callings of help. "M-make...h-him... L-listen...m-me... P-please... L-let m-me... C-cut...l-let m-me….d-die..." was Yugi's answer between his sobs. The shadows came closer and on Yugi's legs. _**Oh little one~ It is really what you want?~**_ they asked, wanting to hear Yugi's broken heart through his voice. "Y-ye-yes..." he told as he started to cry harder and harder. He was feeling like he isn't in the right place. He felt like it's not the right person for Yami. The little happiness that Yami gave, was nothing compared to all the pain Yugi felt. And when he was happy, really happy fully and completely, was SO RARE that each time he felt that he ws happy and it started to annoy Yami (at least he thought that), he started slowly be sad again. It felt like he annoys Yami when he wants or is happy. If Yami wanted him happy, why wouldn't he do what Yugi wanted? What made Yugi happy. But even if he told him something that made him happy, Yami didn't show any reaction to it yet. As if he didn't really care. As if Yugi's happiness was forbidden. He felt angered, betrayed, lied , but the most of all of them: hurt. So hurt that you could imagine a black hole sucking all Yugi's happiness, leaving him with pain. But all this was wrong, wasn't it? Yugi felt very selfish and didn't want hurt anyone. They would say he asks for too much and that he is selfish. They would be right. He IS selfish. He thinks this each and every day. /Would they love me if I change?.../ was Yugi's last thought as the shadows started taking over Yugi.

 **NEXT COMES SOON! R &R!**


	7. Shadows And Pain Part 2

Pain Through Cuts

Chapter 7

 **2 chapters** **i** **n 1 day!**

 **WARNING: Contains suicide games and suicide attempts and cutting and bad language and violence.**

 **I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!**

As Yugi let the shadows in full control, his eyes turned black for a moment and then his eyes were to normal. But he made a creppy expression, an smile, but a smile that was sucking the happiness out of the world. Then he gone out of his room, following Yami from far. No like Yami would notice him anyways.

=Next morning=

Yugi woke up, by a nightmare. Or was it a nightmare? His head, hurting so much, tried to process everything. He felt back still hurting so much then he realised what happened wasn't a dream. Wasn't a nightmare. It was real. It happened for real. What happened you may ask? He told Yami what he felt and many other things that broke Yami and made him cry.

 _ **The hate**_ _ **…**_ _ **and the fear**_ _ **…**_

Yugi cried a bit and then he stopped. He heard the shadows _ **.**_

 _ **You see what you've done? Is all your fault. You see how much he really 'love' you? And you're like a slave to him, why he asked last night if he's your slave? Is he trying to spend time with you? No. But he never loved you. You saw how he called you a luat, jealous and toxic person?**_ as the shadows kept echoing in his mind, Yugi cried more hard. Was it really his fault? Yes, who could he joke. It was his fault, like all the time.

 _ **N**_ _ **ightmares that wake me up**_ __ _ **i**_ _ **n tears**_ _ **…**_

 _ **You now believe us? We told you that's what he thinks about you~ He never loved you, he didnt want you any time around~ that's why he kept ignoring you~ you're a toxic person for him~ you're a liar for him~ that you're jealous of no reason~ How sad. We told you he thinks that~ we warned you all this time, but you refused to believe it~ you fought us back, saying he loves you , care about you, want to make you happy ans that he understand you. But the words are the most hurtful things~ he hurt you a lot last night, didnt he~? He thinks you care just that he always to stay with you~ if he could, he would throw you as far away as possible for never go back to him ever again**_ the shadows kept going with everything and Yugi couldn't stop from crying. He thought Yami hates him so much. He just wanted someone to once understand him, his actions and his thoughts. Too bad it was no one who would understand. Yugi didn't know how to control his emotions, his sadness. His heart was broken. Completely. How could anyone put it back together now?

 _ **The nightmares and the hate**_ _ **….and the fear…**_

 _ **You see, it's not a big difference~ between how Yami used you and how Joey used you in the past~ Joey, who didn't give a sh*t on you, only used you when you had either money or he didn't have with who to walk back home~ what a shame~ And telling you to f*ck off, that you're a slut and that you're annoying, stupid, idiot and the most big 'cry-baby' ever. Didn't he tell you that if you kiss him, he'll whipe the whole street with your face?~ didn't he make fun of you all the time?~ didn't he tell you you're a big liar?~**_ (some little wishshipping, but Joey not loving Yugi back) _ **How is Yami any different now?~**_

Maybe they were right. Maybe his life was meant just to be either forever alone or to die. Of course he would chose death. He kept crying very hard and shaking and he looked at the knife beside him, thinking how he'll kill himself while having all the blame, sadness, depression, pain on his shoulders, not anyone else, but him.

 _ **The n**_ _ **ightmares that wake me up**_ __ _ **i**_ _ **n tears**_ _ **…**_

 **That's all for now! Sorry for the short chapter..** **I DON'T OWN** **THE SONG** **!**


End file.
